Managing Conflicts at Work: Tips for Young Professionals

Navigating workplace conflicts is a difficult but essential skill for young professionals. New studies show that time and energy spent on workplace disagreements has doubled since 2008. Disagreements and misunderstandings are natural in any collaborative environment, but how you handle them can significantly influence your career growth and professional relationships. Learning to comfortably manage workplace conflicts early on will set you up to communicate effectively, building stronger and more productive workplace relationships.

Distress Tolerance

The first step to handling workplace conflicts is to not make them worse. Conflicts can evoke intense emotions, such as frustration or anxiety. Developing distress tolerance helps you manage these feelings constructively rather than reacting impulsively. Distress tolerance is a core component of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). There are a variety of distress tolerance skills available online, two of the most popular being radical acceptance and the Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Muscle Relaxation (TIPP) skill.

Radical acceptance is the practice of accepting the circumstances you are in without judgement. It can be highly useful in managing workplace conflicts by helping individuals acknowledge the situation as it is, rather than getting stuck in frustration or denial about unmet or unreasonable expectations.

The TIPP skill is a distress tolerance strategy from DBT designed to help individuals quickly regulate intense emotions by targeting the body’s physiological responses. Let’s explore each element:

• Temperature: Cold exposures can lower your heart rate, allowing you to slow down your responses and manage a situation more calmly.
• Intense Exercise: Engage in brief, vigorous physical activity like running or jumping jacks to release pent-up energy.
• Paced Breathing: Slow your breathing to calm the nervous system, aiming for a steady inhale-exhale pattern.
• Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and release each muscle group to reduce physical tension and promote relaxation.

TIPP is particularly effective during high-stress moments, such as workplace conflicts, as it helps restore emotional balance and prepares you to address issues with a clearer mindset.

Zoom Out

Taking a step back allows you to see the bigger picture and approach the issue more objectively instead of being swept up in the heat of a conflict. Zooming out can help you understand what emotions you are feeling, what perspectives you’re missing, and ways to manage both factors. Ask yourself these questions to broaden your perspective:

• What are other perspectives you might be missing? Take a moment to try to understand the other person’s point of view. Forcing yourself to look at the issue from another person’s perspective may allow you to feel more empathy or to see ways in which your argument has faults.
• What are your long-term goals? Ask yourself if the issue is significant enough to impact your shared objectives or professional relationships. If it is, what are the important pieces of this disagreement that impact you? Are there parts that you can compromise on?

FAST Skills

The FAST framework is a helpful tool for navigating workplace conflicts. The FAST skills help by providing a structure for communicating around difficult topics. Using this skill can help you ensure you are able to get your point across. This skill can be useful in workplace conflict by promoting self-respect and honesty in communication, leading to more effective communication and problem solving. The FAST skills include:

• Fair: Treat everyone, including yourself, with fairness and respect.
• Apologies: Only apologize when you genuinely feel it’s warranted; avoid over-apologizing.
• Stick to Values: Stay true to your principles while being flexible in finding solutions.
• Truthful: Be honest and transparent in your communication to build trust.

Conclusion

Conflict management is a skill that improves with practice. By cultivating distress tolerance, adopting a broader perspective, and applying FAST skills, young professionals can handle workplace conflicts with confidence and maturity. These strategies not only resolve immediate disagreements but also strengthen your ability to collaborate effectively in the future. If these skills and practices feel difficult or out of reach you may benefit from working with a therapist to practice and hone your skills.

 References

Distress tolerance skills. (n.d.). Dialectical Behavior Therapy Tools. https://dbt.tools/distress_tolerance/index.php

Learn the F.A.S.T. DBT skill to boost self-respect & honesty. (2024, October 28). Counseling Center Group. https://counselingcentergroup.com/f-a-s-t-skill/

New research: Time spent on workplace conflict has doubled since 2008. (2022, October 18). The Myers-Briggs Company. https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/new-research-time-spent-on-workplace-conflict-has-doubled-since-2008-301652771.html