Building Resilience: How to Bounce Back from Challenges

Resilience is the ability to recover from challenges and adapt to difficult situations. It’s a skill that can be nurtured and developed over time. Life can present many types of setbacks, whether in the workplace, within our personal growth, or in our relationships, and these challenges can profoundly impact our self-esteem and belief in ourselves. However, by focusing on emotional regulation using the ABC skill and distress tolerance, you can learn how to cope with and grow from setbacks.

The ABC Skill

The ABC skill, which is a dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) tactic, is a practical emotional regulation strategy that can help individuals navigate setbacks effectively. ABC stands for Accumulating Positive Experiences, Building Mastery, and Cope Ahead—three powerful tools for fostering emotional resilience. Let’s explore each.

A: Accumulate Positive Experiences

Building resilience starts with intentionally incorporating positive experiences into your life. This helps balance out the emotional toll of setbacks and fosters a sense of well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy or comfort in the present moment. For instance, after a tough day at work, you might spend time with friends, watch a favorite show, or take a nature walk. These small moments can help you detach from immediate stress and boost your mood. Positive experiences serve as a buffer against emotional distress.

B: Build Mastery

Setbacks often undermine our sense of competence, leading to feelings of inadequacy. Building mastery is about restoring confidence by consistently engaging in activities that make you feel capable and accomplished. One way to build mastery is to break larger tasks into manageable steps. For instance, if you’re struggling with work-related setbacks, begin with a simple goal, such as organizing your workspace or completing one small project. Another way to build mastery is to achieve a sense of accomplishment, no matter how small—whether it’s cooking a meal, exercising, or solving a problem. Mastery combats feelings of helplessness by reminding you of your strengths and reinforcing your ability to overcome obstacles.

C: Cope Ahead

Planning ahead for challenging situations can significantly reduce emotional overwhelm when setbacks occur. This strategy helps you prepare for distressing events by imagining and rehearsing how to handle them effectively. Prepare a toolkit of coping mechanisms, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or seeking support from a trusted person. Additionally, think about how you’ll take care of yourself after the event. Perhaps schedule time to relax or engage in an uplifting activity. Coping ahead reduces the fear of uncertainty by creating a clear plan of action. This foresight can make setbacks feel less daunting and increase your confidence in handling them.

Mindfulness

DBT and mindfulness-based therapies define mindfulness as the ability to bring your mind to the present moment, which can be a powerful tool for navigating difficulties during a setback. When faced with overwhelming emotions or stress, mindfulness helps ground you in the here and now, reducing the tendency to dwell on past mistakes or catastrophize about the future. By cultivating this present-moment awareness, mindfulness not only helps you endure the emotional intensity of setbacks but also enables you to respond thoughtfully and adaptively rather than react impulsively.

Ask for Help

Resilience doesn’t mean facing challenges alone. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or mentors for support and guidance. Professional resources like therapists or support groups can also provide valuable tools and perspective for overcoming adversity. While asking for help can feel uncomfortable, it also allows you to build connections, gain support, and can lighten the burden you are carrying.

Conclusion

Building resilience is an ongoing process that equips you with the tools to face setbacks and emerge stronger. By incorporating strategies like the ABC skill, mindfulness, and seeking support, you can develop the emotional flexibility and strength needed to navigate life’s challenges. Resilience is not about avoiding difficulties but learning to adapt, grow, and find meaning through them.

References 

Hubert, P. (2023, May 23). Breaking the stigma: Overcoming the difficulty to ask for help. LinkedIn. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/breaking-stigma-overcoming-difficulty-ask-help-patricia-hubert/

Oh, V. K. S., Sarwar, A., & Pervez, N. (2022). The study of mindfulness as an intervening factor for enhanced psychological well-being in building the level of resilience. Frontiers in psychology, 13, 1056834. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.1056834

Using the DBT ABC PLEASE Skills to Regulate Emotions. (2017, November 14). Sunrise Residential Treatment Program. https://sunrisertc.com/abc-please-skills/