Understanding DBT in NYC

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is an evidence-based therapy that helps clients manage strong emotions and navigate social relationships. DBT teaches individuals the necessary skills for how to remain present, tolerate distress, replace harmful behaviors, understand and manage emotions, and improve relationships and communication. DBT has become extremely popular throughout the last decade, so we thought we’d dive into some of the key concepts of DBT and how they can be applied to busy life in New York City. 

Emotional Vulnerability

When we hear vulnerability, the most common association we make is with the term “weak.” However, Marsha Linehan, the founder of DBT, uses the term emotional vulnerability, meaning that some of us are biologically predisposed to have a more sensitive temperament. Simply put—we can’t choose our sensitivity levels, similar to how we can’t choose our eye color. There are three components to emotional vulnerability:

• High sensitivity
• High reactivity
• Slow return to baseline
  

Many of us are highly sensitive individuals and experience emotions more intensely than others. If we are highly sensitive to emotions and we are highly reactive, it can seem like our emotions are constantly out of control. Add on the challenging return to our baseline emotion set and it might feel like your emotions run you ragged. These three biological dispositions help explain why some of us feel overwhelmed by our emotions. 

The Invalidating Environment

Our environment influences us just as much as our biology does. This means that  family members or guardians who raise us, friends with whom we spend our time, our religion or convictions, our schools, and our jobs—all of these impact us. How many times have you heard the words, “Don’t worry about it! It’ll be fine” come out of a loved one’s mouth when you’ve been sad or frustrated? This extremely common phrase meant to reassure and comfort is actually an invalidating experience. While these types of phrases originate from a place of deep loving and care, they are unintentionally experienced as invalidating your feelings. The message that our brains receive is: [that feeling you’re having] “is bad, doesn’t make sense, doesn’t fit, I shouldn’t have….” As a result of constantly learning that our emotions are bad, our brains try to eliminate those feelings. 

The Result and Treatment

The result of experiencing both emotional vulnerability and an invalidating environment can lead to the following:

• Emotional intolerance 
• Self-invalidation
• Emotional inhibition
• Explosive emotional expression

When our biological functioning baseline consists of stronger emotions and we have constantly existed in an invalidating environment, it can be challenging to own our emotions. As a result, we might invalidate our own feelings. This can often look like explosive emotions that might seem disproportionate to the situation at hand. For example, if we spill our coffee after someone bumps into us on the streets of NYC, we might cry, yell, or perceive our entire day as ruined. Whereas, another person in the very same situation might feel annoyed but moves on with their day and does not give it much thought again. This doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with us. On the contrary: it means that we are not comfortable tolerating or feeling our own emotions. Luckily for us, though, DBT can teach us to tolerate our big emotions, leading to positive meaningful changes in our behavior and our relationships. 

Conclusion

DBT therapy can help you navigate the overwhelming emotions that take over your daily life and impact your relationships. DBT considers that there are two primary influences on individuals: biology and environment. Some of us are more predisposed to heightened emotions and we are all influenced, at times, by invalidating environments, which can make large emotions especially challenging to own, tolerate, and manage. With the help of a DBT therapist, you can become more aware of and tolerate your emotions, leading to impactful changes in your relationships and daily life. 

References

Dialectical behavior therapy and the biosocial theory: Understanding the interplay of biology and environment. (n.d.) Grouport. https://www.grouporttherapy.com/blog/dbt-biosocial-theory#:~:text=An%20invalidating%20environment%20is%20one,dismissed%2C%20negated%2C%20or%20criticized 

Greenwald, A. (2020, June 4). DBT therapy & dialectical dilemmas: Understanding emotional vulnerability. Empower Your Mind Therapy. https://eymtherapy.com/blog/dbt-therapy-dialectical-dilemmas-understanding-emotional-vulnerability/