NYC Therapist Explains: The Power of Emotion Identification

As we live in a world with increasingly high demands and frequent distractions, the significance of emotional well-being often gets overlooked. We view being emotional as a weakness and learn to mask our emotions so we can keep moving forward. However, as a therapist practicing in New York City, I’ve witnessed firsthand the transformative power of emotional identification. Understanding and identifying our emotions is not merely a therapeutic exercise—it’s an empowering tool to help individuals gain more control over their lives. 

Understanding Emotional Identification 

Emotional identification is the process of recognizing and naming our emotions. It sounds simple, but in reality, it requires a deep level of self-awareness. Emotional identification goes beyond noticing whether you are happy, sad, angry, or anxious. It requires understanding different types of emotions and the ways they manifest within our bodies. Many of us go through our daily lives on autopilot, reacting to situations without truly understanding the emotions driving our thoughts or behaviors. This lack of awareness can lead to a variety of challenges, including depression, anxiety, mood lability, and relationship complications. 

Tips for Improving Emotional Awareness

1. Expand your emotional vocabulary: In our society, we learn basic emotions to describe how we are feeling—happy, sad, angry, nervous, excited. These emotions are broad and do not capture the nuance of the human experience. A feelings wheel is a great tool to build your emotional intelligence and help you hone in on your inner experience. The feelings wheel highlights primary, secondary, and tertiary emotions, with the latter being the most specific and actionable. For example, if I feel angry (a primary emotion) toward my friend, I can use the feelings wheel to get more specific and identify my feeling as distant (a secondary emotion) and a step further with withdrawn (a tertiary emotion). Identifying that I feel withdrawn from my friend is significantly more useful for communicating and acting on my feelings as opposed to just anger. In this way, the feelings wheel can help you niche down feelings and move forward in an impactful way. 

2. Utilize a body scan: Sometimes we need to tune in to our bodies, rather than our minds, to understand how we are really feeling. A body scan meditation promotes awareness of your internal experience and highlights tension in your body that can act as cues for your emotions. A body scan meditation does not need to take long. Simply take a few deep breaths, close your eyes (if comfortable), start at your feet and mentally scan your body up to your head, breathing throughout. The body scan reintegrates our body and mind to assess our experience in the present moment. It can quiet the mind to focus on how we are really feeling and help us move forward from a point of clarity. 

3. Practice STOP: Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a therapeutic approach that has a specific emphasis on teaching emotion regulation. One skill taught in DBT for emotion regulation is STOP: Stop, Take a step back, Observe, Proceed mindfully. The STOP skill encourages individuals to freeze when they notice negative or intense emotions, evaluate what is going on (with emotional and body awareness), label the emotion, and identify your negative thoughts. Once you freeze and observe what is going on for you, it is easier to proceed in a way that aligns with your values and goals.  

Conclusion

In therapy, emotional identification is often the first step toward change. Through helping clients tune in and recognize their specific feelings, we empower them to regulate emotions and respond to situations in healthier ways. Building your emotional vocabulary, utilizing body scans, and practicing the DBT STOP skill are just a few methods to help you tune in to your inner experience and foster emotional intelligence. These are stepping stones to gaining more control over your emotions and daily lives.

References

Dialectical behavior therapy. (n.d.) Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/dialectical-behavior-therapy

Scott, E. (2024, February 12). What is body scan meditation? VeryWell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/body-scan-meditation-why-and-how-3144782#:~:text=Body%20scan%20meditation%20(BSM)%20involves,sensations%2C%20emotions%2C%20and%20feelings.

STOP skill. (n.d.) DBT Tools. https://dbt.tools/emotional_regulation/stop.php

The feelings wheel: unlock the power of your emotions. (n.d.) Calm. https://www.calm.com/blog/the-feelings-wheel